1. First day of Spring Semester

I can’t wait for this week to be over.
The stress really is building up!!!!!
Friday’s coming :(

After much hesitation today, I went for Korean class.
I’m still thinking whether to drop it because I can only take a maximum of 18 credits this semester and some of my classmates are maxing it to 18 without taking any language classes. With my Korean class, it means I have 18.5 credits and I can’t add the Negotiations class.
Shall go for the Negotiations class on Thursday to see if it’s worthwhile dropping my Korean class. This week, many people are shopping haha.
Anyway, the other reason why I don’t want to take Korean class this semester is because it’s on a Monday, when I have no other classes. When it’s my free day, I want to keep it free. Every time I go for a class, I’m terribly unproductive after that so the day is pretty much wasted for me. So I want it to be on Tues/Wed/Thurs. But James is right too, I’m a full-time MBA student, not a part-time student so why am I complaining about having to go for class on a Monday when I live on campus?? But I just want it free… a WHOLE day free to do whatever I want.

Anyway, today’s Korean class was about 다문화 가정 multi-cultural families, which was the topic for the volunteering project that I had to come up with for yesterday’s scholarship interview, so I had a lot to talk about it. Halfway during class, 선생님 asked me if I had any 고정 관념 fixed perceptions before I came to Korea and then after talking for awhile, I realised that I do have. And also, I talked about how I’ve been increasingly feeling about Korea. Lately, I’ve been talking to others about this a lot.

I love Korea. I do. And I still love studying the Korean language though it takes up time and it’s hard juggling the demands of a full-time MBA program and studying a language. But things are just not the same as they were when I was on exchange at Korea University. Then, I was a tourist for 6 months. Now, I’m living here for a longer time. I don’t feel like a tourist anymore and hence, there isn’t much to talk about my life here unless I go out. Here, I’m alone most of the time. Of course I have friends here but everyone’s busy with their own lives and their own lifestyles. There’s no Jeannie here whom I hung out with all the time when we were on exchange and had similar goals for the 6 months that we had here. So I would say it’s the people who really make or break things for you in a foreign country. I like Seoul, but I love Busan, or rather, the time I was there with my fellow scholars. There, we were all living in the dorm together, and going for Korean class everyday together, with nothing much to do after class. Here in Seoul, everyone leads different lives. In Seoul, I walk around Myeongdong, Cheonggyecheon and Edae/Sinchon area a lot. ALONE. I spend my time in department stores and window-shopping. In Busan, I would have taken a bus down to Gwangan to sit in a cafe and just watch the sea or go to Spaland in Centum City if I were alone. I could always go out with my roommate, Valentina or my Korean class classmates too. I miss Busan a lot. If I were to stay in Korea next time, I would buy a nice and pretty apartment by Gwangan or Haeundae.
Another thing is that when I was an exchange student here for only 6 months, I saw only the nice side of Korea. Now that I’ve been here for about 1.5 years, I’ve seen things that I don’t like and I’ve learnt more about the culture here that I don’t like. Of course, maybe it’s the same in Singapore too but I have not come across such situations in Singapore before so to me, Singapore’s better in the relative sense. This being a public space makes it difficult for me to reveal much but last year, I was really disappointed in a few events that really woke me up from my Korean dream and made me really happy to be back in Singapore this year. This is probably the most truthful entry I’ve ever written in this blog about my feelings about Korea for this stay back in Korea. I know that I’m studying here with the Korean people’s tax money and I know there are many people who wish that they got the scholarship that I have. I am grateful. I truly am. In fact, I was really angry when I heard about some fellow scholars who gave up the scholarship because they denied others of the chance that they had.
I’m doing well in school and I’ve been really involved with my school’s activities and I’m even representing my school for a competition. If I do get the additional scholarship that I interviewed for yesterday, I hope that I can contribute back to the Korean society with the volunteering work that I will be doing for the next 9 months. But nothing will erase the fact that I was very disappointed last year, had my heart broken a few times (I’m still attached to H btw, but I’m referring to many things)- mainly because I had set my expectations too high. And this 2.5 years here is not a 6 month exchange program. You’re here for a longer period of time, and you see more things. It’s nice to come here for a holiday but when it’s not your holiday, it’s a different story altogether. I know that there are many Singaporeans out there who have their own Korean dreams. I was one of them. But I felt let down in some ways. But of course, you need the bad days for you to appreciate the good days and the good times better. All these only make me a stronger person and I must admit that I’ve grown a lot over the past 1.5 years, especially last year!

The most important thing that I have to decide for this year is whether I will continue to work in Korea for about 2 years after I graduate or to return to Singapore. The deciding factor will be my summer internship experience. I have heard a lot about the working culture here in Korea and it scares me. But of course, I cannot judge much since I have not experienced it yet so I will have to decide after August.

Even though I had class today, tomorrow’s the start of my business classes. Need to maintain, if not, improve my GPA!!!