Packing the hospital bag

Wow... it's been more than 10 years since I last blogged here and so much has changed. I've been back in Singapore since March 2017 and I also became a mother in October 2024. 

I wanted to share more about motherhood so far and didn't want to create more blogs so I've decided to use this space, which was a very big part of my 20s. 

Will edit this entry soon on the packing of the hospital bag for a c-section. 

Kinda moved

Ok, so I've finally got down to blogging at my Wordpress blog and it's a very very personal entry so I've password-protected it. Email me at eunjin.clara@gmail.com or leave a comment here if you wish to continue following me and read my private entries at Wordpress! I might be blogging at my Wordpress blog all the way until I leave Korea. I really like this blog with my pretty layout that I've used for so long but not being able to privatise certain entries is irritating. There are things that I want to share with the blog readers who have been following me for so long and yet, I don't want my thoughts to be so public so I have decided that Wordpress works for me.

http://eunjinclarainkorea.wordpress.com/

1 week left. 6 months left.

I miss my brother so much.
I miss all the times we'd go out to some place in Seoul and explore and do the stuff that we both like doing e.g. shopping, eating at nice places, taking photos, etc.

I've finally realised that I've been alone for far too long.
I've always been a loner, enjoying the solitude and just being able to do what I want on my own.
Having all the time in the world to myself only.
Walking around Sinchon and Edae areas alone after holing myself up in my room all day, listing to songs on my Spotify playlist and walking around the beauty counters in Hyundai Department Store. This is me.

It's difficult to find friends with the same interests here and even if we do, they're busy with their other friends and their own friends. I'm all alone here, I have all the time in the world when I don't have to work or have school commitments to deal with.

Indeed, blood is thicker than water.

Now what have I turned this blog into :'(
I never meant for this blog to be so personal.

Ok, one more week left for my internship and then it's back to the last semester in Yonsei for me.

6 months left in Seoul/Korea.

I'm no longer a full-time student/유학생 here. I'm an exchange student with just 6 months in Korea.

I'll make the best of every day or moment (if possible).

On bandages

There was one day when I had lunch with my colleagues and after eating in the staff food court, we went to the 13th floor relaxation area to chit chat. And we somehow started talking about foreigners who come to Korea for plastic surgery.

My colleagues were saying that it's so weird to see all these foreigners walking around Gangnam area with their bandages on their noses and all. I was shocked when I heard that because I heard that most Korean girls who do PS do that, especially in Gangnam, so foreigners think it's normal/common/alright to do likewise post-surgery (this is what I heard/read in blogs; I don't really go to Gangnam often because it's too far- yeah even though it's just a bus ride away). And then it was my colleagues' turn to be shocked because they said that Koreans don't do that...the people walking around with the bandages are foreigners. Hahahaha I guess when you're wrapped up in bandages and all, no one can tell whether you're a foreigner or Korean unless you start talking.

At a crossroad again

Slightly more than 2 years ago, I was at this crossroad but I chose to escape by applying for the scholarship and coming to Korea. 

But escaping doesn't solve the problem. And now, I'm back at the same crossroad again, just that the circumstances are a bit different. 

What to do after I graduate in February???

I'm really glad to be interning in a great department (which doesn't even hire fresh graduates to start with) with a possibility of having my contract extended into a part time job for the next 2 months (though this is not confirmed yet and I kinda want to enjoy my last semester as a student...) in Korea's biggest cosmetics company. The food here is great (free lunch every day) and the people here are really nice. But...this department is definitely not for me when I graduate because I don't really know business Korean and my Korean's not that fantastic (definitely not as good as it was more than a year ago when I was studying Korean full time). I can only help for market research, that's it. Then, there's the global marketing department for the different brands. But $$$ is an issue...I have an opportunity cost. I'm here in Korea studying when all my peers have already worked for more than 2 years and are earning decent salaries. I don't mind if I were a fresh graduate but not if I were a MBA graduate and earning that amount... 

And then there's the question of whether I'm going back to Singapore or staying in Korea. 

For now, I'm leaning towards returning to Singapore. 

Ahhhhhh I have to decide but I can't!!! Hopefully, by early November, I'll have my answer. 

Public holiday tomorrow and Labour Day (only for my company) next Friday. 2 Fridays off in a row, wheee!!!!! And then I'll just have 1 more week of internship left before it's back to school for the last time. 

How did time pass so fast?!?!?!? 

In about 2 weeks' time, it'll be my 2nd anniversary here in Korea. Soon, I'll be having my farewell party with my fellow KGSP friends since my program is 1.5 years while theirs is 2 years. 

Time to sleep and wake up late too finally!!!!

Happy birthday Singapore!

From the time I arrived in Korea in August 2012, I haven't really felt homesick.
But this time, after spending slightly more than a month with my brother here in Korea, I am homesick.
I've just sent him off at the airport and it was a struggle to put on a brave front and not cry in public.

The past few weeks with him were one of the best times I've had in Korea.
With friends here, there are things that you can't do together because you may not share the same interests or spending habits (not saying I'm rich or anything; on the contrary, I'm always in a financial crisis but there are times when I just want to spend some money on that ONE time just for experience sake). My brother and I are really close and we share very similar interests. Like even when I'm shopping, he'll stay in the boutique with me (ok, only when I ask him to, if not he'd just stand outside) and give me shopping advice.
Thanks to my brother, I've pretty done almost everything I've always wanted to do in Korea and it was nice to be able to do them with him and not alone. Now, we're just waiting for our Winter adventure :)

I'm currently still interning but after 3 weeks, I'll be freeeeeee!
Unfortunately, I'll have no break and school will start the week after.
Nevertheless, I'm only taking like 7.5 credits this semester as compared to 18 last semester so life will be so much easier.

Once I'm done with my internship, I might revamp this blog or move to Wordpress where I can selectively lock entries. I'll resume work on this travel blog for the remaining few months of my stay in Korea.

Previously, I thought I could work here for 2 years after graduating in February. But lately, I've been missing Singapore and most importantly, my family. Furthermore, each time a relative or friend comes to visit me and then return to Singapore, I get sadder and sadder with each farewell. I don't think my poor heart can take so many farewells! We'll see but for now, I'm leaning towards a "returning to Singapore" stance. But who knows, things might change over the course of the next few months. Maybe my company might hire me for a full-time position? Ok fat hope and I still can't decide whether to stay here in Korea or to return.

Korea's a beautiful country but I'm a Singaporean at heart. There are cultural differences and some of which, I can't tolerate. Things like personal space. There's a newcomer in my department. She's Korean but spent 10 years in the States for her education and she concurred with me about people not having a sense of personal space here. So it's not just me who feels this way!!!!!! Even a Korean herself.

Happy birthday Singapore. I'll be home for good soon and I'm looking forward to that (except the heat).

Yet another rant but I really can't stand that YISS angmoh girl.

It was just her luck that she arrived when I had just loaded my clothes into 2 washing machines and the others were occupied. And then I used 2 dryers for 2 rounds each.

She asked me why I couldn't put all my clothes into 1 dryer since some of them would have been dried from the 1st round. This was after the fact that I had already told her that I haven't done my laundry for more than 3 weeks. Do you know how much clothes that I haven't washed in 3 weeks add up to?! I freakingly need more than 1 washing machine and 1 dryer because I have to split the HUGE pile of clothes into two?!
And as a YISS student, she doesn't have to leave her room by 7.30am every weekday morning for work and only come back after 7pm or so. My brother is only here for a month or so too so I have been going out and spending time with him right after work and during the weekend. So much so that I don't really rest after my internship everyday or during the weekend. I'm not complaining, I'm so happy that my brother is here and I treasure every single minute with him and so, I've been putting off washing my clothes every single day until the internal alarm in me to wash my clothes has been ringing non-stop inside my head for the last few days. So today, I left work on the dot at 6pm to rush back just to wash my clothes. I know YISS classes end by 6pm and she didn't have to take a bus back to the dorm just to wash her clothes.

And if you want others to be nice to you, be nice to them first. Don't speak to me in that voice/tone of yours. I've been here for almost a year, I know how the washing machines work and I know how to do my laundry with those washing machines and dryers. And during the past 1 year or so, my clothes were never dried from just 1 round in the dryer.

Throughout the 2 years I've spent here, I've changed a lot. For the worse actually. It's not just the Koreans, it's just people I've encountered here, both Koreans and foreigners. I guess my stubborn nature and character is to blame too but lately, a lot of people have been pissing me off. Not having a sense of personal space, being inconsiderate, being a hypocrite/fake, etc. I've had enough. I'm so glad that I don't have to see most of my classmates for this month and next month. I really need a break from them. Ok, I exaggerated, I don't want to meet a few people, not most of my classmates. 1 person has no 눈치 at all and then there are the cheaters.

I would like to think that I'm a nice person by nature. Until I'm provoked. And you don't mess with me. I'm sorry but I don't have the grace to forgive and forget easily. I treat you nicely and I expect you to treat me nicely too. But sadly, the world doesn't work this way.

Actually, all I really want from people is consistency. And I believe that I always try to be consistent in terms of my behavior too. If I say I don't like it and I'm against it, I don't go with the tide you know...suck up to some others and the likes? If I don't like you, I probably won't like you for the rest of my life until we can reconcile or one of us gives in and apologises first. But that's me, consistent till the very end. I don't like...talk to you just to get a favour and then give you the cold shoulder again? Or say hi to you in front of a selected group of people and then ignore you when it's just the 2 of us? I'd rather you just ignore or not talk to me at all than to keep up with the pretense and fakeness in front of a selected group of audience. Please be more consistent in terms of your behavior :)

Life's good

My brother has been here for more than a week.
It's been so surreal with him around!
I've been alone for so many months and now he's here!

We had an epic Jeju trip and I need to blog and share about the trip. It was my 4th time there but this was the most luxurious trip^^ I feel bad about spending so much but it was a much needed getaway. I was so drained during the semester!

Today was the 2nd day of my dream internship. I can't believe my luck and how blessed I am to be able to enter this department and be given a project that I'm so passionate about. I mean which internship allows you to surf the net and read makeup blogs to find out about the star products in the industry during working hours? And throughout the day, I hear colleagues and staff from other departments in my office talking about Innisfree, Sulwhasoo, Etude House, Hera, Laneige, etc. So so so dream-like. I even met the VP of the company in the lift today and he says my name is beautiful^^

I've heard so much about working in a Korean company that I was so scared yesterday before the start of my internship. But my colleagues are so nice, especially my 2 bosses who are so nice and kind to me and my colleagues who bring me down to the staff cafeteria for lunch everyday and chase me to go home at 6pm sharp and told me that I don't need to use 눈치 here. The staff cafeteria is like a food court in a shopping mall with very delicious food and the best part? It's free for staff^^ In the office, I have a range of O'Sulloc tea bags to choose from too. And yesterday, I had my first 회식. It was a senior associate's farewell dinner cum my welcome dinner. To discourage employees from staying out too late during 회식 and from going for many rounds (2차, 3차, 등), the company's credit card can only be used till 9pm. And today, a colleague messaged me on our company chat messenger to tell me that there's 30% discount for staff  in the Aritaum shop in the basement.

This internship is kinda like my 1st internship with the Call Centre in UOB with wonderful and supportive bosses and colleagues and autonomy to determine the direction of my own project.

Firsts

This year is really, a year of many firsts.

I had my first interview conducted entirely in Korean for a scholarship in Feb.
I went for my first overseas case competition in Shanghai in March.

I just had my first phone interview for a summer internship in JP Morgan Seoul in Korean.

I need to study Korean again, but I'm so overwhelmed with my other modules for this semester.
Less than a year more to go!

Dramaland

The last 4 days have been nothing but drama, in a good and bad way!
Mon and Tues were like a dream, something I'd talked about casually once or twice but never dreamt that a wish/whimsical thought would turn into reality, albeit only for a very short while. What a whirlwind of events. A pity it was so short though! Sometimes, you have to be careful of what you wish for.
Wed was a day of stress because of last minute prep for a presentation yesterday and having a group of drunk Korean guys in their 30s talk to me on the phone because a corporate MBA senior had his high sch reunion and I don't know how his friends ended up seeing my KT profile and called me. Having to deal with such a prank call in Korean is not exactly very nice. And I thought that his friends were his CMBA classmates so I was extremely polite to them despite knowing the nature of the call. Argh.
Thurs had me fearing for my life and regretting how I've been as a person and how I should rid myself of my weaknesses. Recently, my bad side seems to have surfaced a lot and I have to rein it in. My impatience, lack of tolerance for incompetency (I know it's not like I'm very competent myself. I know I should just shut up and reflect on myself as a person before talking about others. I'm trying and I hope that after letting this out, I'll really change!!!) and dislike for people who leech off others and not grow a backbone of their own, etc. I think I should shut my mouth or don't make my feelings so obvious for others to read. That's what happens when you open yourself up. Last semester, I kinda closed myself. But this semester, maybe I opened up a little too much.
At least, I'll have a nice time from now till next Wed and hopefully, the weather will be good!

Time and time again, I've come to realize that drama only happens in my life when I'm in the motherland of dramas. Oh Korea.

And last semester, I thought that it would be my busiest semester and life would get better soon. When Module 1 started this semester, it was worse than before and I thought when Module 2 comes, my life will REALLY get better. BUT NO. It just got worse with the start of Module 2 this week. But really, during Fall semester this year, I will only be taking 7.5 credits, instead of the 18 that I'm taking now. So then, I should be able to finally relax and enjoy my last few months as a student studying in Korea before I get consumed into the workforce next year.

Now I have to finish my essay on public holidays in Singapore for my scholarship class and then start on all the readings due next week. Life of a full time MBA student, oh my poor eyes.