상견례

Ok, I haven’t been blogging properly, like what I used to do on a daily basis.
There are many reasons why I haven’t been doing so, aside from being busy with school.
I really wanted this blog to be something that I’m proud of, something that holds all my memories from every single day spent in Korea. But sadly, this blog didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.

Module 1 is the busiest module for my program. By the end of October when Module 2 starts, I’ll only have school from Mondays-Wednesdays and I hope to spend 1 day a week exploring Seoul and taking nice pictures AND blogging about it.

But other than being busy, the real reason is that I don’t want my blog to be read by some people because I don’t want to be judged on what I do or buy. I don’t want this blog to be used against me. So until I figure out how to balance what I want or don’t want to share, I will not blog about things that are too personal. Maybe I’ll lock my blog and if you wish to follow my journey here, you could let me know and I’ll invite you. I’m still undecided on that. But today’s entry will be an exception because I really want to share what I experienced! So please keep the contents of this entry to yourself. Thank you!

I had one of the most authentic Korean culture experiences today: I attended a 상견례 (official meeting between the bride and bridegroom’s families before the wedding) and it was like what you normally see in Korean dramas- a private room with both families seated opposite each other, bowing, being very mindful of every word used and every action so as not to offend the opposite party and to gain favour for the marriage.

H’s brother is getting married and his 상견례 was held today in a Chinese restaurant in Wonju 원주.
My plan was to make a day trip down to have lunch with H and his family since Wonju is nearer to Seoul than Ulsan is and I can’t meet H as often as I did when I was still in Busan. But then his parents wanted me to join them for the 상견례 too because they seldom get to see me and they wanted me to spend more time with them. However, it was weird too because a 상견례 is only for immediate family members but they said it’s alright, because I’m a foreigner. In Korea, being a foreigner means you can get away with some things haha.

Anyway, I took the 10.50am bus to Wonju from the Seoul Express Bus Terminal for 10,400원. It was a 우등 bus ride which means more spacious seats. There are 일반 ordinary buses to Wonju too but whether it is a 일반 or 우등 bus depends on the bus timing. The journey was supposed to be 1.5 hours long but thanks to heavy traffic, it took almost 2 hours for me to reach there. And I could have taken an earlier bus too but I got lost in the subway station. I didn’t know which exit to go to and whether Wonju belongs to the Honam Line 호남선 (Central City Bus Terminal) or Gyeongbu Line 경부선 (Seoul Express Bus Terminal). I didn’t find Wonju in the Honam Line so I decided to go to the Seoul Express Bus Terminal to try my luck and see if a bus to Gangwon-do’s there. Thank goodness it is! H didn’t tell me at all and I never learnt about Honam or Gyeongbu or Yeongdong or how to take intercity buses during Korean class -.-

I reached Wonju at nearly 1pm and we headed off for lunch shortly after that. Barley rice 보리밥 (7,000원 per bowl), eaten in bibimbap style! The food was really delicious yet cheap. And potato pancake 감자전 (7,000원) is so amazing!

After lunch, we were quite full so we walked around before heading to Baekgunsan Recreational Forest 국립 백운산자연휴양림 to walk around and take some photos. The weather was perfect and there weren’t any mosquitoes in sight. Some of the leaves were turning red too!

Hello lil froggy! 

My pretty shoes from Clark

His best modelling photo to date 

Lovely afternoon spent soaking in nature

So sweet haha 

Back at his brother’s apartment, his brother went for a haircut while everyone else fell asleep because they were tired from the 4 hours car journey from Ulsan to Wonju at 6am. I spent my time planning my schedule for the next few months. Busy Business School student! And at 5pm, everyone started rushing around getting ready while I started feeling a bit inappropriately dressed because H’s dad and bro wore suits and his mum was quite well-dressed too. At 5.30pm, we rushed out of the apartment and were in the restaurant’s private room before 6pm, just before H’s gf/fiancee and her family arrived. We had to stand in a line behind the chairs (I was standing in front of the chair until H told me to get behind it instead) and bow when the other family came in and only sat after they sat. I don’t know if the bride’s family has to be more respectful to the bridegroom’s family or the other way round but I think that because the future bride’s parents are much older than H’s parents, his parents were more respectful. I think it’s so stressful to be a Korean because you have to watch your manners and be careful not to offend the other party! Before eating, I had to make sure that everyone ate first before I ate. But H was really sweet and he kept watching out for me. He even peeled peanuts for me! Ok, I don’t get it but Koreans think it’s dirty to eat the skins of roasted peanuts so they peel them away too. The same for desserts which was a bunch of grapes. At the end of the meal, everyone’s plates had the grape skins and grape seeds while mine only had the grape seeds because I ate the grapes AND the skin. Oops.

The 상견례 went quite well (IMO) and thank goodness the bride-to-be’s elder sister, husband and toddler came along too so there were 5/6 of them and 5 of us and we were entertained by the little boy during the dinner because he kept wanting to eat jajjangmyeon. And later on, he went around massaging his parents, grandparents, aunt, H’s bro, H’s parents and ignored the 2 of us, maybe because he deemed us too young for massages. This is another thing that I’ve noticed in the Korean culture: kids learn to give massages to their parents and their grandparents from a young age and I find this so endearing and sweet. You’ve probably seen the kids doing so in 아빠, 어디가 variety show. During the dinner, his mum gave him corn to eat and he used it as a telephone too hahahaha. And when eating the grapes, he put me to shame because he peeled off the skin from the grapes first before eating while I ate them all. The bride-to-be’s sister and brother-in-law are from Korea University and the brother-in-law is a doctor. The food was pretty good and it was interesting to eat a 8 course Chinese dinner in Korea because the Chinese food’s localised to Korean taste. No sharks’ fin or fish maw soup; instead we had 누룽지 soup which was delicious. No fried rice or mian (I can’t remember the names anymore); instead we could choose between jajjangmyeon and the spicy seafood noodles soup. And bunches of grapes for desserts! I’ve never eaten them like this in a Chinese restaurant before.
Oh, and I didn’t take any pictures during the dinner because it would have been rude to do so.

The only photo taken at the restaurant

At the end of the dinner, we saw them off at the car park. Us standing in a line again, bowing and shaking hands and waiting till they left before we got into the car. H bought me my bus ticket back and this time round, I took the 일반 ordinary bus and reached Seoul at 10.20pm.

What a long but interesting and fulfilling day!